SHS: Student Health Sketchiness

My eye hurt. My eye hurt real bad. So I went to the James A. Taylor Student Health Services Center like any self-respecting college student that doesn't need to be blind on top of stressed for finals week. I think that was pretty responsible of me! But alas I got Dr. T. (Ummmm you could probably figure out his real name from the website....) I think the following quotes of conversation speak volumes about my experiences in Clinic II today.

"Where are you from?"
--Colorado
"Oh! I'm a High Sierra's man myself!"
--Oh, I thought that was California
"It is." (Points to a picture of a generic mountain scene. Needless to say, awkward pause)

"Here, get down from the table, sit in this chair. That's why it's here. We can see eye to eye...haha that's ironic! Hahaha, do you get it?" (yes, idiot....)

"Wait! Let me go get my laptop- that's right, I'm wireless!"
Upon returning with a laptop with a huge plastic sign saying "DO NOT USE" on the top...
"Aren't you lucky? You get the only doctor to have everything they need on this little computer!" (people perceive luck differently doctor...)

"I'm going to go get my otoscope, it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better"

"Oh! You're photophobic! Excellent!" (I mean, that sounds awesome)

He shines a bright light into my eye and it is watering uncontrollably so I say "I'm not crying, I promise!" to which he replies...
-"It's okay, I tend to do that to women"

"Do you sleep with contacts in?"
--No
"Good! Oh wow Hayley, that's great. You're doing really well. You're getting all the right answers!"

Entering his office...
"This is my home, that's why I decorate it. Here, sit on my couch."

“I’m a doc and I teach. I’m adjunct. Adjunct, haha.”

"Take a business card so you can email me. Because you can't call me, I don't have a phone. (ummm aren't you a DOCTOR?!?!) I feel my communication is flanked if I have a phone AND a computer." (Okay then he blabbed on about a lot of medical stuff but I spent most of the rest of the time debating with myself as to whether flanked is a real word and, if so, did he use it in the right way?)

"Stress inhibits your immune system, did you know that?"
--Yeah, I guess I've heard that
"You need to meditate"

"I like to tell people that to get to the pharmacy, you go to the stairs, walk down, and it's on your right. It's easiest that way." (actually, that's just where the pharmacy is, dude...)

"If you ever come back you should suggest me. You get better care from one provider. You make better relationships" (*WINK*)



Okay weirdo. Peace. OUT.