I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas...

Okay but this one's NOT just like the ones you used to know. Here are some things about the White's at Christmas that I may have neglected to tell you....

1. We traditionally eat homemade Chinese food for Christmas Eve Dinner because several years ago, my older brother called in to one of those NBC- "Audience Speaks Out" deals that asked what people's Christmas Eve traditions were. While we eat what I call "the food of our ancestors" (HA!) on that night every year, we also remember with a good laugh the man that called in to the same show saying... "Well, I don't have many friends, and not much family...so I pretty much stick to Shake n' Bake." Sad. But funny.

2. We are also always the ushers at the 9pm service at our church on Christmas Eve- ever since I can remember. We get to stand at the doors and hand people bulletins and candles (one part of the service is candlelit). One year, a man who we will call BM rejected, yes- REJECTED, my older brother's offer of a candle. He and I were so stunned and we made it into this funny inside joke. But THEN, a few years later, said BM left the church with another member after they were caught up in a huge local scandal. HA. Should've taken that candle dude.

3. Last year I hung up 80+ individually cut and painted paper snowflakes all around my house really late/early before everyone woke up. Yeah, I'm pretty much the favorite child. It doesn't hurt to get in good with Santa either.

4. It's a season of family togetherness, but in this household the little bro is still the funny one. Note, while decorating the tree...
C: Hey Hayley, you know why there are no red lights on this tree?
Me: Uh, why?
C: BECAUSE RED IS THE COLOR OF COMMUNISM
Yeah, this is the same kid who got 11 frisbees and a toy that shocks you on purpose for Christmas.

5. I remember one year when my little brother opened like 4 of my presents on accident. I was really upset, I think I cried. Don't judge me.

6. Every year each kid gets socks and underwear in boxes suspiciously labelled "from Tess", our dog. This year I got a whole tube full of it. Good times.

7. Also every year for at least a few years, my dad's work sends him/us a Christmas "gift" of, are you ready for this? A GIANT box of Usinger sausage and cheese. You guys, I'm not kidding. Though it works out nicely because, circa New Years, I am so sick of sausage that making a New Year's resolution is easssssssy. NO MORE SAUSAGE FOR A YEAR.

8. We make the same kind of cookies every year and decorate them as a sort of family tradition. Well this year all of our creativity ceased all at once and the 3 of us kids and my friend decided to cut our losses and decorate the rest of the cookies as flags of the world. I think my little bro's Canadian moose and my older brother's mountain of icing that was a Brazilian Santa were the clear winners and, well, my attempt at a Great British Star was announced dead at approximately 8:07 on the evening of December 21st.

9. We can't escape Christmas without at least ONE picture of SOMEone wearing a bundle of ribbons on his or her head. It hasn't been me for a while...

10. To keep my dog entertained on Christmas morning (she gets jealous of all the present-opening and runs around the house like a malfunctioning robot on Tang) we always get her a gigantic bone. Gigantic = 4 feet or so in length. This is really great fun for her. And for us, as we get to see her swing it around, taking out any vulnerable object standing upright within a 20 foot perimeter. And then she chews it till her gums bleed and we all take lots of pictures.

11. It just wouldn't be Christmas at the White House without Legos. Every year the boys get some sort of Lego. This year it was Dino Attack and it's already built. Sweet.

12. It used to be that the kids would wake up really early and wait, like good little children, until at least 6 or 7am to blare Christmas music to wake the folks. Now the parents have to wake up the kids and remind them that it's Christmas and tell them that Santa came. I was the last one up today around 9am, a perfectly reasonable hour.

13. We still listen to the Raffi Christmas Album.

14. Our other traditional music selections? The Chipmunks, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, and some random Jackson Browne, Ska, and "flashback to Hayley's freshman year of HS" mixes that, for one reason or another, are in the CD mix and we're too lazy to get up and change the music.

15. My aunt always sends really funny gifts to the boys. This year, my little bro got a Napolean Dynamite calendar as my older bro opened his Swimsuit Model calendar.

16. Okay, I admit it. We have some ugly ornaments. Really, the only ugly ones are these obsure pink violins/cellos/violas- of which we have about a dozen. My mom tries to get rid of them every year but the kids always triumph and get every last one on that tree. It's mostly the little bro that spearheads this effort, and it was he (not surprisingly) who, this year, snuck a rubber shrunken head on a string (Halloween decoration) onto the back of the tree. PLEASANT, let me tell ya.

17. The best part of Christmas? We have a humongous turkey with all the fixin's AND a honey-baked ham for dinner (yes, there are only 5 of us), pies for dessert and then, after dinner, we open our stockings. Then Christmas is over!

Merry Christmas!