I remembered!

I was distracted by the differences between Mr. Leno and I when it was our one similarity that I wanted to concern myself with. We both love a good stupid criminal story. And, I have two!

1. "Woman in Cow Suit Arrested"- you know a story is truly newsworthy if it requires a headline like that. I'll let the story speak for itself:

"Middletown police say Michelle Allen, 32, was charged with disorderly conduct on Sept. 27 after she was caught impeding traffic and chasing children. Metro.co.uk reports that Allen had been hired to wear the costume to advertise for a local "haunted trail" theme park, but left the job to go on a drinking binge."

I mean, there are worse things to be wearing in your mug shot but well, actually, no there aren't. And wow that is a really horrid costume. All I can say is that, if the kids aren't scared by the "haunted trails", they'll certainly be haunted by the memory of an oversized woman in tattered bovine outfit stumbling as she chases after them down the street. If you think the story ends well you can judge for yourself- she is caught urinating in a neighbor's garden. Turns out she's been arrested 50 times before- for robbery and prostitution! She's going to be fun in jail. Don't worry, she's from Ohio- they tend to keep their crazy pretty contained.

2. I'll keep this one short. James Coldwell, 49, decided (over a cup of coffee, according to the apparently quite thorough Manchester, NH police department) that it would be a grand idea to rob a bank... while disguised as a tree. Yes, this idea seems quite logical until you consider the, well, the logic. You can use ANYthing to hide your identity- some old classics like masks and baseball caps come to mind. A tree stealing money is still a tree stealing money! Albeit absurd. Furthermore, if you're going to use a creative disguise, you have to do more than James who "duct taped sparse foliage to his body". Not only does he get on video but YOU CAN SEE HIS FACE. Idiot.

I'll let you all figure out which picture is which.