Obnoxious Girls

I have an unbelievably high tolerance for annoying people. Any of you annoying people out there know this, because I probably still act like I'm your friend. Oh, you didn't know you were annoying? Shucks, maybe you should fix that before you're the unsuspecting target of a sarcastic blog entry.

ANYWAY, at Student Health today I really wanted to explode because there were 2 of the most obnoxious girls that have ever tested my tolerance level waiting near me. Other than their extremely loud and ear-grating voices, and their tendency to screech obscenities for no apparent reason, they were so absorbed in themselves that I wanted to slap them upside their faces with my shoe just to let them know that there was someone else in the room.

They spent about 15 minutes talking about themselves to each other and repeatedly asking one another, "How are we similar? We are not similar at all!" and "Who of our friends am I most similar to?" and "I think I'm really unique, don't you?" and "what do you think are my best qualities?". Then they moved into discussing their FRIENDS (Lord help them, whoever they are) and who their FRIENDS were most/least similar to and the good/bad qualities of their FRIENDS. Oh man, at this point I'd rather just GET mono if I didn't already have it in order to get out of the room.

But no, then they move into state-dissing. Like, a 5 or 6 minute diss-session on members of the United States of America. Well, they started with Ohio, where I have family.

"That is just the dirtiest, most awful state I've ever been in?"
"Where is Ohio?"
"You don't even need to know, it's just an ugly, dirty filler state you need to fill the space between here and California"
"Why'd you go?"
"Oh, I just drove through once"

Then they moved on to discredit the great states of Nebraska and Wyoming, both of which are homes of people I care about. I was waiting to pull out the punches if they mentioned Colorado, but the only victims remaining to be stripped of their dignity were Iowa (which neither girl could locate), Wisconsin, and the Dakotas.

Then their geographical conversation moved to trying to define what qualified as "New England" and, after a solid 30 seconds of debate, they agreed that the region included any state, not a "filler state" that rested above the Mason-Dixon line. And somehow this included Michigan.

It was at this point that the kind, kind nurse called me to get my blood test. She called me "Katie", which is never comforting at the doctor's office, but nonetheless I was removed from what had quickly become the inner perils of the Student Health waiting area. I'd have my arm pricked again to get out of that obnoxiousacity.

No, that's not a word (or is it?), but it's been a long day and I think you can go with me on this one.