Life Happenings

So, rather than make a blase (add an accent and that's a real word I swear) attempt at a real blog entry (writing in sentences- ick!) I figured I would just bullet out a few fun things that have happened recently. You know, finding the funny in the blah and the sad.

-Shanna and I, attending the DI appraisers training at South HS a few weekends ago, were approached by a stern looking teacher who asked us if we were there for "Saturday School". Not only do we look young, we look delinquent! Excellent!

-My gas light came on last Thursday. It's Monday. The crazier thing is, every time I've passed a gas station over the last several days it's been like "nahhh, she can make it." She can make it till when?? I actually drove all the way to work today despite the completely credible threat that my car might run out of gas, all because I convinced myself it was worth the potential walk to fill up for $0.02 cheaper on Broadway. Then I realized, this is my desperate suburban attempt to live on the edge...tragic.

-Today I finished filling up my tank with gas (sigh...) and had climbed inside the car when a blind guy comes out of friggin' nowhere- NOWHERE- and walks dead into my car. I quickly turn the car off so he doesn't freak out or something and then he reaches out his stick and, in his attempts to find his way around, manages to give my car a few solid whacks before doing a 180 and walking off. He looked a little lost so I got out of my car ready to put my "how to approach a blind person" training to good use (and to think I went to the seminar just for the ice cream! That doesn't sound like me!). As soon as I got close enough to talk to him though, he took a good swing at me with his stick and took off down Littleton Blvd. Spooky.

-Also at the gas station (wow, eventful stop!) a girl on the other side of my pump filled her tank up with the car...running. Wha??! I made a point of wandering around the opposite side of the station and occasionally throwing her glances with a combination of judgment/worry/areyouafrickinmoronyou'reabouttoblowupyourdaddy'snicelittlecar.

-I can always count on the elliptical machine in my basement for some good times. I lost my step while running one morning (apparently I run like a Clydesdale...) and set off a whole chain of events. In trying to save my book, which fell anyway, I knocked over my glass of water, which sits on a stack of plastic drawers. As the glass flies, it's as if I see myself in clumsy slow motion- my left foot stepping through the elliptical, scraping my leg all the way down, my sadly uninformed arm flailing out to the side and sending the stack of drawers crumbling forward. Half the drawers were stopped by our strategically placed foosball table (strategically = in the middle of everything and entirely in the way) which had plenty more things, not excluding less than 3 more cups of water, just begging to be catapulted all over the room. By the time the dust settled, it's almost as if my brain immediately knew to repress the bad memory (it had a lot of practice from middle school) because I found myself sprawled on the floor with a sharp pain in my leg, covered in water, and very confused. You just don't recover from that.

-I took my dog on a walk to the river because it was a pretty nice day- 45 but sunny. Though, as we passed through the country club houses, things got weird. One had a Palin 2012 sign out. One had boulder in the front yard so giant that it created an eclipse with the sun. A kid was playing catch with himself (literally playing both sides), and I found like 3 pairs of gardening gloves just up for grabs along different parts of the street. Most peculiar, there was a giant, topless man sprawled out in a lawn chair in the middle of his driveway holding a beer and humming "Born to Run". 45 degrees! He waved- nice guy.

-After something like 2 grueling weeks of learning the guitar- wow, I'm really good- I wrote my first song... IN MY DREAM! I only used the 7 or 8 chords that I know in real life and all I remember is that the words included "drool", "sunset", "petticoat", and "whores". I figure my subconscious isn't any worse off than your average drugged up rock star.

-Later that same night I had a dream about surprisingly irritable two-headed peacocks and getting my photo taken with Clint Eastwood. I'm starting to wonder about my vitamins...