You Know You're Not Qualified When...

I'm just hoping to list a few "job qualifications" listed for positions I was foolish enough to consider...until I read the fine print!

1. Incumbent must be listed on, or possess, a current 10-A permit authorizing research activities on endangered Desert Tortoise in southern Nevada (Shoot! I'm only authorized to research on the endangered River Tortoise of norther New Mexico!)

2. The successful applicant must be proficient in MS Office, able to read basic site plans/building plans, have knowledge of food safety practices/regulations, basic epidemiology and disease investigation, soils, and ground and surface water hydrology. A valid Colorado driver's license is required. The ability to ski or snowboard is desirable for performance of on-mountain winter inspections. (Basically.... can you just do everything? Please? Oh yeah, and ski too!)

3. This CPHA position requires a mix of intra disciplinary skills public
health, food microbiology sanitation expertise, and training to assist in
assessing and recommending improvements for State illness reducation
programs as they pertain to the Vibrio public health concerns associated
with molluscan shellfish consumption. (You lost me at the end there...)