Fall 2006 Schedule Update, with commentary by MOI

Okay so here's my recap on classes for the semester in case the one person who reads this blog cares (thanks Mom!)

Biology 423L- Something about experiments in genetics

This class is total baloney and it is the least favorite one I've got. It is a rotting pile of maggots. Actually, it's not that bad but it's really pretty bad if you know what I mean. We meet for an hour lecture on Mondays and a 3 hour lab on Wednesdays. Oh, but you want to know the kicker? We also get to come in just about every other day of the week to check up on whatever silly organisms we were growing in the previous week's lab!!! Funny how they didn't mention that part in the class description... Basically, I have come to hate all of the following creatures of life: E. coli, yeast, C. elegans, and drosophila. I also have a newfound distaste for everything else my hands have ever touched in that lab, with the minor exception of the anti-microbial soap which I'm sure, after scrubbing my hands with it for about 3 minutes every Wednesday, has single-handedly saved my life a number of times. Remember that E. coli scare in the spinach? And the lettuce? WELL HOW ABOUT THE E. COLI SCARE IN MY PETRI DISHES SITTING IN AN INCUBATOR SO THEY CAN PROLIFERATE AND CAUSE IMMEDIATE DEATH UPON MY ARRIVAL FOR MY NEXT LAB PERIOD. It's okay, I know this won't happen for two reasons. 1) I usually manage to screw up each and every lab so irreversibly that nothing. ever. grows. Like my yeast for example? Yeah, I burned those little suckers with the glass spreader, oops! 2) I risk my very life walking INTO Wilson 130 for my lab and I'm never sure upon entering if I'll even ever make it to my lab bench before death attacks me at every angle. The building was supposed to be closed to students in August?? And I would say the construction in the hallway, the dangling electric cords, the unsealed door with uncut glass leaning against it, the sawdust everywhere, and the construction workers on a perpetual lunch/"hey baby" break just outside our lab room are PRETTY CLEAR signals that this is truly the case. Well Biol 423L did not get the memo. But you know, it's not really that bad.

Next up- Physics 104: intro to intro to intro to physics for idiots

This class is probably my favorite. Which, as anyone from my high school (were they to stumble upon this piece of Pulitzer Prize winning literature) would be able to tell you, this is pretty much a giant surprise to everyone in the world. I hated physics in high school. Beyond all other things, I hated physics. Mostly I hated my deformed decrepid perverted got-made-fun-of-too-much-in-gradeschool-and-is-now-emotionally-damaged teacher. Well, that's all over now. My teacher, Dr. Pierce, is the real deal. He has the most massive collection of man toys I have ever seen in my life. Not to mention one of the quirkiest wardrobes and oddest hairstyles which Josh kindly told me resembles that of my own. Thanks Josh, we're really cranking up the self-confidence. Who doesn't love a man who's willing to throw eggs at the wall, at a sheet, at the door, at the floor, at a girl's hand, and INTO the 150-person lecture classroom with absolutely no concern as to the consequences of said action. Who doesn't love a man who probably lost his ability to have children while getting off of a larger than life see saw in the middle of the room. Who doesn't love a man who, while racing a student on the first day of class, actually fell down and skidded across the floor under the weight of a 180/190 pound student? Who doesn't love a man who somehow manages to end each one of his classroom examples with someone in the problem dying or getting hit by an 18-wheeler? Who doesn't love a man who brings a DUAL FIRE EXTINGUISHER POWERED CART to class, and rides it wearing a helmet and glasses, and then complains that it didn't have enough JUICE to sufficiently SLAM him against the opposite wall? Who does not like Dr. Pierce. It's just not the American way. Oh yeah and the class is fairly easy and the first test was good. I'm happy.

Biology 446 Unsolved Problems in Cellular Biology

You can tell by the title that this class has some real potential. Too bad it's not realized potential. Though I feel like I've learned a little about the material and learned A LOT about science as a field and much more than I ever needed about how to read/write about/present on detailed research papers, I just come out of the class everyday asking, what did we do today? Well I can tell you precisely what we do everyday. Each and every one of the 35-40 of us in there KILLS a QUADRANT of some desolate RAINFOREST off of which 10 JUNGLE TRIBES had been SUBSISTING FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS because the professor xeroxes 60-70 pages from textbooks, staples them together, and hands them out like candy on Halloween. Except this candy is not required to be eaten, if you follow the metaphor, and thus mine go into the paper recycling tub on my way out of Mitchell Hall. It is downright ridiculous. At first, the packets were 3-4 pages and you sort of forgot about them, but now we're actually becoming the cause of the need for restructuring in the biology department because, due to the thousands of pages being copied for JUST THIS CLASS, a few of the struggling researchers in the department just. have to. go. You know you're starting to become numb to the issue however when you begin to feel less resentment toward your environment-murdering professor and more resentment toward the stupid staple that you have to pull out of each of the 4-5 packets handed out daily so that you can throw the sad pages into the recycling bin with a guilt-free conscious. The next thing he'll do is start putting this print-outs on neon paper so they're no longer recyclable. I know it. Just you wait. Why isn't neon paper recyclable anyway? That seems dumb. WELP, moving on.

Finally, Geography 445: Medical Geography

This class is good and bad mixed together. The professor annoys the living goodness out of me by asking vague and difficult questions that she KNOWS we don't know the answers to because she LOVES giving us the answers with a sly little smirk that says, "I got the first PhD in Medical Geography ever in the world and YOU...are just a peon". This woman complains about grading papers and tests and assignments to no end, and yet continues to assign them. She promises us our first choice on disease topics to present on and yet not a single person in my presentation group on Japanese Encephalitis (yeah, I hadn't heard of it either) had even remotely requested that disease. She holds class during the 2.5 measly hours that are considered "University Day" and are the only precious moments the University mandates professors to cancel class for the entire year. She is the only person I have ever seen manage to wear mismatched moo-moos everyday and to consistently use her abnormally large breasts as armrests throughout the class period. But the information in the class is good, we've read a good book and the workload is not too harsh. The class as a whole is pretty decent but I think its main purpose is pretty much to remind me each and every Tuesday/Thursday how wonderful classes outside of the science departments can be. Is it too late to be a geography major?????

I mean, I won't get started on my lame Friday afternoon physics lab. My TA is pretty much a jerk but grades easy so I'll let him slide. And that is that. Sorry my life isn't more interesting you guys. My bad.

Whoopsidaisy

Um, well it has been awhile, hasn't it? LET'S CUT THE PLEASANTRIES. We all know that I haven't written in this thing since July for one reason and one reason only. No one reads this stinking pile of cow manure that I like to call SERIOUS JOURNALISM anyway. I'm not sure if it's because no one takes me seriously? Insert melodramatic question and answer session with myself concerning the purpose of my life and how this blog somehow fits into my meaningless pith of an existence.

Okay, snap back to reality. WHOOPS there goes gravity. Thanks to Eminem for that. What? Okay, I'm going to go now and post something immediately after this that maybe has more substance.